Stop and smell the roses

The last three weeks have been RUFF (as our furchild Shilo would say) My husband was working nights and his sleeping schedule got all twisted around which in turn meant my weekend time to sleep in and recuperate didn't happen. I was okay with that. I figured he needed the rest more than I did. Driving home and working nights and running on little sleep and energy drinks....I got this! You sleep! My inner busy bee buzzed its little tail all around the house.....

and straight into exhaustion.....

and a sprained back....

My self car instructions for the next three weeks consist of the following:

1. NO LIFTING THE BABY AT ALL!
(hahaha my husband has a job I have to take care of our child! Got any other ideas doc? "Do you have help?" I laugh and then start to cry "No" My parents work and I need help in and out of the shower...not just ANYONE can help with that. (insert emotional breakdown))

2. DO NOT BEND AT ALL!
(hahaha so how am I suppose to do anything? "You squat!" Well alrighty I'm gonna get me a plumpolisoius booty from this ordeal....mmkay. I like where this is going ;) hahahaha)

3. Don't drive...well if you have to don't strain your back turning to check blind spots.
(Seriously! I sprained my nerve in my back and have no idea how that happened, do you really think I'm going to know how far to turn to not strain my back (insert my are you kidding me face :| hahaha)

4. Sleep with pillows under your legs with your knees bent or in the fetal position.
(NO to the pillow sleeping! That induced a pain so intense I would have taken some morphine! Fetal position it is)

5. Don't lift anything more than 20lbs

6. If you have to move your legs to get in, out or on to anything move your legs with your arms don't rely on your lower back to move them and don't put pressure on one leg alone.
(Lord this is getting to be a lot hahaha FOCUS!)

7. Sit in the shower
(wait a minute doc that's what got me here in the first place now ;) hahaha)

8. Don't bend to wash your feet or shave your legs bring your legs to you or just dont shave.
(I like how you think doc hahaha)

8. Rest
(my doc has a sense of humor now I'm here to tell you. Rest with a baby? Ha! hahaha! "RIGHT ON TOP OF THAT ROSE!")

9. Use your crutches.
(my armpits hurt now haha thank God I already shaved those :))

10. Take your medicine.


In an effort to not loose it emotionally I thought to myself "What now God?" Jeremy cant be home for three weeks? Im in a lot of pain, Im so exhausted. Not just mentally but emotionally and physically. How am I going to follow these guidelines to heal AND take care of our child? (insert emotional breakdown number 2)

I needed help with A LOT and given the circumstances I needed someone I was comfortable with and who was comfortable with helping me....(and this is embarrassing part but the reality of it) go to the bathroom and shower. I was about to have emotional break down number 3 and I think Jeremy was about to join in on that one with me when my phone rang.

Momma to the rescue! "I'm coming to get you and the baby! I will cover the night shift and morning before I go to work and Dad will take care of the baby during the day until I can get home to help you shower and help him with the baby. Pack a bag for the two of you I'm on my way baby girl!"
(emotional cry of relief)

In my lonesome isolated room ;) at my parents away from the world I didn't know what to do with myself. I kept thinking of all the things I had to do and every time I heard my son instinct told me to get up.....my collapse to the floor reminded me I'm a little immobile at the moment ;) ME? SIT STILL? HA! I put the "i" in anxiety! This was going to be hard! The reality set in...for the first time ever, I was helpless. What was I going to do with myself? And then I heard it.....laughter from downstairs and the conversation between a grandpa and his grandson. My heart smiled. I spent the day listening to them "talk" and got to hear my dad call himself "grandpa" for the first time.
I thought to myself....slow down Trina. Stop and smell the roses. Your life is pretty beautiful!

Later that night what use to be a piercing cry in the middle of the night from a hungry baby was now filled with laughter and joy from a grandma and her chance to be with her grandson. I got to hear her sing to my son the very same songs that once comforted me.
I have had to sit back and let me husband be a dad. Which as been good because for the first time, I saw him for the dad he is not what he was doing wrong or what I needed for him to do different. I just saw my family for what it is. There really are no words for the bond I have been blessed to see grow. From diaper changes, to feedings and running errands to the giggles that happen next to me and cuddles that make me forget the pain for just a moment. I am blessed!
And the best was a friend who came willing to cuddle in bed with me but I got an even sweeter surprise....her daughter jumped in bed with me ready to watch some NickJr and keep me company as she took over to help my dad with the baby so he could do some things around the house.

I am not use to asking for help but somewhere in all of this chaos I found Jesus and His love for me and my family. I may not be able to do much more than lay in bed right now and despite the aggravation I feel to be helpless I have been able to see some really beautiful things in this life of mine. God can turn the bad into the good in the blink of an eye but sometimes its a change of heart not the absence of problems and then there are times where He just has to sprain your back for you to slow down long enough to smell the roses and see how beautiful your life really is :)