From a Martha heart to a "Mary" one

Since becoming a foster mom I've learned a lot. For instance, it is totally possible to sing yourself to sleep WHILE standing up OVER a crib trying to sing your child to sleep. Never knew I was capable of that, but never underestimate the power of "lack of sleep" and "I'll sleep whenever baby sleeps".

Once our journey began I immediately started thinking about what is to be a mom. Not just what is expected of me from DSS or what I expect of myself but what God needs me to be and how to make sure I don't loose heart in all of the chaos.
As a family we fight battles I can't talk about, we feel emotions I wish didn't exist, we have become VERY familiar with solidarity and we cry....we cry a lot around here (but what's my motto? JESUS WEPT so we can too☺️)

There are days I get so wrapped up in life that I forget to pray, I forget to pause and thank God, we forget to say prayers before our meals and do our nightly devotions. I get so caught up in the details, being in control, trying to do everything possible to please, serve and do the right thing that I can't hear myself think sometimes. I overwhelm myself with perfectionist tendencies as if one day it all will be but never is.  I just find myself drained.....Hello inner Martha, let's meet Mary.

As I was pondering all of these things, I was reminded of a sermon that Pastor Ken taught around Christmas. He spoke so eloquently of Mother Mary. The mother of our Messiah! Just let that sink in......the mother who gave birth to the man that would one day save ALL of humanity! Can you imagine the pressure she must have felt??? YIKES!!! The mother of the Son of God. Those are some seriously BIG shoes to fill!

Have you ever thought about the strength it took to face the ridicule of being a pregnant virgin? I often wonder if she ever felt overwhelmed? Or inadequate? Did she ever feel scared? Or forget to take a "pause" with God? Did she ever fall asleep over baby Jesus because she was so sleepy 😉 Mother Mary full of GRACE! How did you do it? How did you so boldly take up the role?
I wish I could ask her myself. Invite her over for some tea, cuddle on my couch and learn a thing or two from the mother of the son of God. That sounds like a good day to me ☺️

I want to know how she did it!

According to the bible she wasn't anything "special" to the world but she was to God because she loved Him without boarders. She didn't have all the worlds riches (my heart can relate to that) but she did however have a heart for God. An obedient heart! One thing I am trying so hard to have.

She had a faith so strong that when Gabriel came and told her she would bare a child she obediently took up the role (Luke 1:38) She never doubted God, just asked "how is this possible?"
Had that been me? I probably would have thought that I was having a mental break down and needed to go to the nearest hospital to be evaluated.
"Excuse me Dr. McDreamy, I am seeing talking angels can you direct me to the psych ward?"

She trusted Him with her whole being ready to be a available to God in whatever way He needed her. My heart hears all my selfish desires and my inner Martha as I write this "what about what I want? What about the bills? What about this and that and my family?" My mind runs to "I have to do things first and make sure "this" is finished and taken care before I can help you Lord!" (insert sad face)

She had faith, love and trust for our Heavenly Father. She carried our Savior, watched Him grow and wept at His feet as He died to be the Savior of all humanity.

  Mother Mary FULL of grace, faith, love, obedience and trust! That's how you did it isn't it?

Grace towards yourself
Faith in God to fill in where you lack
Love, trust and obedience in The Father because you never wanted to loose sight of His face.
You wanted God more than anything in your heart. His peace more than control. You wanted His guidance more than your own understanding. You wanted His plan for your life more than you wanted your own!

Beautiful Mother Mary so full of grace I desire to be more like you.