We survived

Today was the day their stuff was picked up. Packing it all up was hard. Being in their empty rooms was harder but the hardest part has already passed us.....putting them in the car and saying goodbye. I figured if I made it through that!?....pshhh this was going to be a breeze. Somehow this journey manged to surprise me yet again.....imagine that ;)

I found closure today. I broke down into tears in the kitchen as it finally hit me that they were never coming back, our job was finished. It was the first time my mind and my mothering heart were on the same page...."we did our job Trina." Its okay to move on. I actually gave myself permission to stop hurting and start healing. My heart may be in a million pieces but its being put back together by a God Who knew we would be here before we did. A miraculous God that even on my "Just leave me alone God," days  He would STILL reach out to me and put Jeremiah 29:11 in my path not once....but twice. Giving me a peace that transcends all understanding and hope for our future. A gentle reminder that He has a plan for us.

Despite the heartache, we were parents for 105 days. Despite the worry, I have pictures to remind me of their beautiful little faces. Despite the tears, I have memories that I can carry with me for years. Despite it all WE SURVIVED our first placement. Heartache, joy, laughter, snuggles, tantrums and all! We made it to the other side of this....changed for sure but so grateful for it all! Make no mistake, our journey is not over.....its only just begun.